The Devil’s Time Machine: Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinking 1988

Fear not by the title, my weary time travelers; for we will not be speaking much of Warrant. The year was 1988 and it was quite an eventful year. Jimmy Swaggart, the God fearing man that he is, got caught up in a scandal…with hookers. Meh. It wouldn’t be the last time.

We would no longer have to see Tom Selleck’s hairy chest and red Ferrari. After 8 seasons of Magnum P.I., it finally ended. This was also the year that Geraldo got his nose broken when a fight broke out in taping of the ‘Young Hatemongers” episode.

The Olympics were being held in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and strangely enough, Canada would bring home no gold medals. I’m not sure what that was all “aboot”, but the Soviets pretty much kicked everyone’s asses that year. This was also the first year that Jamaica would compete in the winter Olympics in the event, you guessed it, bobsledding. “Sanka…you dead?”,”Ya, mon.” Moving on…

Ronald Reagan requested 36.25 million to support the Nicaraguan Contras. The house or representatives, then controlled by the Democrats says “Are you fucking insane?”. Oh, hey, Hustler Magazine won a Supreme Court Decision in Hustler V. Fallwell in which Jerry Falwell filed a defamation suit and lost. Poor little asshole. Oli North and John Poindexter were in hot water when indicted for the Iran Contra affair. Oddly enough, these guys are American heroes today for whatever reason.

The movie “Last Emperor” won nine Oscars. You know what I remember from watching that movie? Monks smelling the young emperors poop. Seriously, that is all I remember about it. The Soviet Union decided that enough was enough and they pulled out of Afghanistan and cut their losses. This was back when the U.S. Supported the Taliban and iraq. What a fucked up world it was back then. That Hawaiian flight lost yards of its fuselage between Honolulu and Hilo (on mainland Hawaii) and somehow made the flight with only one casualty; a flight attendant that go sucked out of the plane.

The U.S. fucked up big time when they shot down a civilian Iranian airliner (Flight 655), killing all the passenger, to include 66 children, with an anti-aircraft missile attack. Words can not describe how stupid and sorrowful Americans must gave felt at this time.

NASA resumed space flight following the 1986 Challenger disaster by launching the Space Shuttle Discovery. As a huge Dodgers fan back in 1998, I was ecstatic to see Kirk Gibson hit a huge home run in game 1 of the Wold Series against the Oakland A-holes, winning the game and limping around the bases. Orel Hershiser was a badass pitcher back then.

in comics, Venom made his debut in The Amazing Spider-Man #300 and the “Wolverine” series was revived, lasting until 2003. Marvel introduced the ‘Punisher: War Journal’ series, which lastde until 1995.

Lastly, Mystery  Science Theater made its debut and sadly, Roy Orbison died of a heart attack.

Now, let’s get to the METALZ!!!!

Billy Sheehan formed Mr. Big with Paul Gilbert while Motley Crue went to rehab. The Decline Of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years was released and showed more glam metal than anything. However, there was one really awesome part of that doc.

Living Colour’s Cult Of Personality would start playing on the radio waves and never stop.

This was also a year for many incredible metal releases. Carcass release their first grindalicious album (pre-Mike Ammott) Reek of Putrefaction. Death released their second album, Leprosy. Glenn Danzig would release his best selling record as simply Danzig. The single ‘Mother’ would not really take off until 1993 when it was used to promote the Thrall: DemonsweatLive EP.

Anthrax released State Of Euphoria, their follow up to the epic Among the Living. Unfortunately it was not nearly the record that ATL was. Guns N’ Roses release G N’R Lies, essentially an EP but holding 8 songs, the first side consisting of tracks previously on a live EP and the other half being acoustic songs. If you’ve never listened to ‘Lies’ you’re missing out on a great record.

Iron Maiden released their seventh album, properly titled “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son”. Judas Priest tried to recover from Turbo with Ram it Down. Ram it Down and Turbo were originally going to be one double album called Twin Turbos, so this explains why both album pretty much suck, though Ram it Down was slightly better.

Manowar released their sixth album and proclaimed themselves the Kings of Metal. Sanctuary, lead by Warrell Dane better known for Nevermore, would debut with Refuge Denied. Dave Mustaine produced this album. Speaking of Megadeth, the released So Far, So Good…So What, one of my favorite earlier albums from the band.

Metallica would release …And Justice For All; their first album since the death of Cliff Burton. Ultimately this album was the first time we heard a definitive change in Metallica’s sound. Funny how back then everyone seemed to love it, but you talk about the album these days and people go on about it being shitty. I still dig the album just as much as I always have. I don’t get it, so fuck ’em.

Ozzy released one of his more mediocre records with No rest For the Wicked. This was also the first record with Zakk Wylde.

Slayer released my personal favorite from the band, South of Heaven. SOH is a grossly underrated album.

All of the Big 4 released an album in 1988; however, two other truly worthy bands of the early thrash era also released noteworthy albums. Testament released their sophomore album, The New Order and Overkill released their third album, Under the Influence.

Also emerging from the bay area, Vio-Lence made their debut of a short lived career with Eternal Nightmare.

lastly, perhaps the most two important records of 1988, were released. Warrant’s Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich and Winger’s self-titled debut.Joking of course; but just so you really hate me…press play.


0 responses to “The Devil’s Time Machine: Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinking 1988

  1. I liked the Dodgers but as an A’s fan that sucked for me. I have to disagree with Ram It down being slightly better then turbo. RID to me is the worst album they ever put out. AJFA would be awesome if these hipster old farts would go back and rerecord it with original vocals. My problem with it was always the production.

  2. Well, I’m sure we can both agree that they’re both pretty underwhelming records. I don;t think Metallica needs to totally re-record the album; just remaster it with less bass in the bass drum and more bass guitar.

  3. South of Heaven- my favorite Slayer album. I agree that it is very underrated (even though most people seem to find it pretty good).

    I am also bothered by the revisionists who now say, oh I never liked ‘Justice’ (also people who would deny ever enjoying any song from the black album, looking back on it now).

      • Yeah, it’s pretty universally agreed that Reign is the favorite, but what I meant was, even though SOH is pretty highly regarded, in my opinion it is still somewhat undervalued.

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